A Moment For Music Moms – Our Unsung Heroines

We hear so much about Soccer and Hockey Moms – but let’s talk about Music Moms!  Since Mother’s Day is almost here, I thought I would use today and the rest of this week to pay tribute to these amazing women.  They play an extraordinary role in the development of young musicians.  They are responsible for their child’s earliest exposure to music; they play the role of Motivator (when the kids need, ahem, “encouragement” to practice); they are Road Warriors shuttling kids to and from lessons, auditions, competitions; and last but not least, they are Armchair/Bedside/Driver’s-Seat Psychologists in helping their children navigate the peaks and valleys of excelling at something that requires so much work, and so much of yourself.

My mother and father, who both happen to be music teachers, were very naturally my first contact with music – singing songs to me and with me when I was little.  I watched my mom give piano lessons at our house and was eager to be one of her students.  When I turned six, she finally let me start lessons, but she was wise enough to know we had to start our teacher/student relationship out on the right foot.  So, out the door I went with my shiny and crisp beginner piano books, walked down the street a bit, turned around, walked back towards the house, knocked on the door, and she let me in.  “Hello, Mrs. Cordell!”   Thus began twelve years under her tutelage.  Our little ritual didn’t last long (I stopped calling her Mrs. Cordell), but it didn’t need to last long – we had managed to set a good tone.

Later, not as my teacher, but as “just mom”, she drove me to my horn lessons which were two and a half hours away, and accompanied me for various things.  It was a busy time full of driving, coordinating band and youth orchestra events, competitions, festivals, and lots and lots of noisy evenings of me practicing like crazy in our not-so-large house.  (Then again, no house is large enough for the horn…)

Not only are Music Moms called upon to help kids develop good practice habits, dedicate time and money and all kinds of resources, but they are called upon to help children through the ups and downs of what is necessarily a competitive environment – understanding when to say something or NOT say something, watching them try out their wings, flail and flap around, sometimes soar unexpectedly, sometimes crash unexpectedly, then get stronger and more consistent little by little.  There is a lot of emotional stuff to be taken care of!

Then  – and this is perhaps one of the more difficult parts of being a Music Mom – they are required to eventually trust and let go as their children make their way in music and start to travel to various festivals and events.  I often look back and wonder how my mom felt the first time I flew to an international competition.  I had booked the travel and “hotel” arrangements myself (I’m glad that neither of us knew ahead of time what my hotel would be like…of course, I managed since it was all an adventure to me!) and off I went – alone and completely naïve.  And this was before the era of cell phones and internet access.  I think it’s safe to say that it was a huge act of trust on her part.  Over and over again she drove me to the airport, or watched me drive away, out the door, off to far-away places.  Praying the whole time, I’m sure!

And at this point I absolutely must introduce to you the lovely lady in both of these photos.  This is Larisa Kennedy, my student Mark’s mom, who (along with my own mother, of course!) is the Queen Of All Music Moms, making the over-three-hour trek from State College, PA with three of her kids to Philadelphia for lessons every other week.  And that’s just the beginning!  This year has been a very full year with Mark’s college auditions and they drove and flew all over the place.  She is tireless and incredibly inspirational.  Her commitment (and the commitment of the whole family) and Mark’s hard work paid off – he’s headed to University of Michigan next year to study with Adam Unsworth.  Hooray!

So, here’s to Music Moms who get their children started on a path of beauty and excellence, who dedicate so much of their time and energy in coordinating the practicalities of getting kids to and from lessons and other events, and who are there to wisely guide and encourage them in their endeavors.  We (both teachers and students) couldn’t do it without you!